Prayer - What it Is Not
On the
other hand, Jesus gives us an example of what is not prayer at all. He tells of
a man who “stood and prayed thus with [to] himself, ‘God I thank you that I am
not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax
collector. I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.’” (Lk
18:11-12.) Interesting that Jesus says the man is praying “with” himself, or sometimes
translated “to” himself. Luke says it was a parable for those “who trusted in
themselves that they were righteous and despised others” (Lk 18:1).
Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church is located in California City, CA. Visit our website at ollcalcity.org.
This may be
an odd way to start a series of articles on prayer, but sometimes we can grasp
better what something IS if we first look at what it IS NOT.
So let’s
distinguish between bad prayer and what is not prayer. Bad prayer might be
asking for something which clearly is not God’s will, or asking with doubt and
lack of faith. It may not be effective prayer, but it is still prayer if, even
in our immaturity, we are still reaching out to God with some degree of
sincerity and faith.
So prayer
is not talking or thinking with ourselves about how wonderful we are – no
matter how much God-talk or religious-language we use. If it’s
self-aggrandizement, it’s not prayer. Prayer is also not trusting in ourselves:
“God, I’m going to fast this Friday, I’m going to pray an hour every day, I’m
going to this and that .... I’ve got it from here, God. I can do this.”
Rehearsing my agenda and self-sufficiency is not prayer.
Have you
ever prayed, “Lord, just tell me what Your will is and I will do it!” You might
have been sincere and so just needing to learn how God works and to surrender,
and that's OK – we're all on the journey. But sometimes we can say this sort of
thing more as an expression of self-sufficiency, to pump ourselves up to go out
and do our thing. Then it’s not prayer. It's not surrender; it's not seeking
God’s help (and probably not His will).
Or how
about, “Lord, I’m so glad I’m not as selfish as I used to be. Janet is so stuck
on herself! I’m glad I was never that bad. Can’t you do something about her?”
That’s not prayer either. That’s despising others.
Self-aggrandizement
or despising others is never prayer. Neither is group gossiping in the name of
intercessory prayer.
Then there
are people who look good on the outside and appears righteous, and maybe are in
church every week and say many prayers. But there’s something you can’t quite
name, something’s off. Everything is about them, and they are always in the
right (in their own eyes) and others in the wrong (and quick to inform you).
What has happened to these is that they have developed a habit, formed their
character, to rationalize away and excuse their bad and sinful behavior, their
own selfish lack of charity towards others. Everything is about making sure they
appear good. They know right from wrong, but no longer sees the wrong in
themselves but project it onto others. They deceive themselves with lies. These
persons also do not pray but talk to or with themselves. They cannot pray
because they no longer can see any need in themselves.
Jesus said,
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand
and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by
men.” (Mt 6:5.) He talked about those who “for a pretense make long prayers”
(Lk 20:47; Mt 23:14). Note that it is the loving to be seen by others, the
pretense, that is the problem here. Now, there are legitimate situations where
there is no pretense at all. Parents have to pray to be seen by their children
to set a good example and teach them. Whenever a group of people pray together,
each should also pray earnestly to set a good example. At church, sitting up,
kneeling and standing appropriately, and paying attention, all set a good
example for others and also keep us focused on the Lord. But if we focus on our
appearance of looking holy, looking pious, then it’s a pretense, and we’re
talking with and to ourselves. We’re not praying.
Lord, teach
us to really pray!
Dibby Green
Originally published in the print edition of the Mojave Desert News on November 7, 2019.Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church is located in California City, CA. Visit our website at ollcalcity.org.